Creativity - the Enigmatic Paradox
- Ramya Namuduri
- Nov 30, 2020
- 3 min read

The nature of creativity, I believe, is creative itself. It is strangely familiar, painfully silent when needed, and flashes like a lightbulb in the most unpredictable of times. Is it simply thinking differently? But if everyone were to think creatively, and creativity is no doubt a virtuous talent, then what would be different about thinking unconventionally? If creativity had only one meaning, applicable to all cases, well creativity would not be creative at all! Its existence itself is a paradox.
In my opinion, creativity is to a degree thinking “outside-the-box” when we are trapped inside and thinking in-the-box when we are trapped outside. It is looking for something in a place, in a method, so unconventional that most would lack the courage to pursue the path. Therefore, creativity is not simply thinking differently, it is having the courage to admit it and to stick with the idea regardless. Creativity is having faith when there is little hope, and taking the step forward anyway, knowing that it could likely lead to yet another dead end. Creativity is being willing to try again and again, if it means that the solution will work.
Clearly, creativity is not a paradox. It is merely an enigma.
As a child, my mother and I would race one another, hands darting in different directions, instinctively grabbing the next piece to fit in its place. Without continuously glancing at the final picture, and rarely depending on a trial-and-error procedure, it was more about image recognition, remembering the location of that perfect piece - the piece with the right indents, the piece with the right shades and texture. Solving those puzzles was second-nature, my eyes and hands working like clockwork.
It was this puzzle-solving hobby that led to Sudokus, Anagrams, Riddles and cracking Codes. Everything was a puzzle with a solution, a maze with a way out. This week, I realized that I still view much of the world around me as a giant puzzle. Each challenge is a missing piece, but it exists somewhere, waiting to be found, its hidden location yet another puzzle of its own. I also realized that finding those pieces means taking the more thickety path, as opposed to the beaten down one. The most important realization, however, was that I severely lack conviction.
Coupled with my love for solving challenges, and the opportunity Computer Science provides to do just that, I find myself engrossed in side-projects. These side-projects, whether they be attempts at frequency decomposition or Peer-Tutoring apps or wild bursts of Natural Language Processing ventures, are not unconventional. They are simply tasks that I have never done. Each time I endeavor to try something new, half of me jumps excitedly at the prospect of using the learn-on-the-go method and the see-if-it-works-now paradigm. The other half questions and wonders if I will be left dejected at all the deadends I might face.
I am not afraid of the challenges, yet I doubt my determination for some unknown reason. Ignoring the unconventional part of creativity for a moment, the conviction to go through with an idea is something that I desperately need to improve on. This lack of conviction is why I have gone through writing 17 blogs, each one halting to an abrupt end. This lack of conviction is the reason behind all the mobile application ideas I had, the designs I spent hours pouring over, the code I sat puzzling over, the books on good software engineering I fervently read, yet somehow ended up leaving unfinished. This lack of conviction is how I started so many machine learning online courses, and barely finished them, or eventually walked away from probing a dataset. I realized this with conviction this week, and felt utterly lost.
Confidence, conviction, creativity, courage - these are all clearly required for success in any field. It is even more pertinent that I find these within me because I love puzzles, but an idea remains an idea until it is acted upon, until it is nurtured to reality. Perhaps, it is not that I lack the courage to stick with the idea, but that I keep doubting myself, and wondering if I could think of a better idea. I find myself stuck in this constant search for something - maybe I am looking for the perfect enigma to unlock.
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